4 Powerful Reasons Why You Should Not Unblock Him (Trauma Bond Edition)
If you’re feeling the urge to unblock him again, you’re not alone. Women stuck in trauma bonds often feel pulled between logic and emotion. One part of you knows he hurt you. Another part still hopes for closure, validation, or softness that he never gave you.
Before you give in to that urge, here are 4 trauma-informed, research-backed reasons why unblocking him harms you more than you think.
1. Your Health Is at Risk
When you let someone who has disrespected, manipulated, or abused you back into your life, you unintentionally betray yourself. This creates an internal war between your intuition and your attachment system.
That conflict leads to nervous system dysregulation—your brain switches into survival mode. You may notice:
anxiety or panic
a harsh inner critic
physical symptoms like brain fog or stuttering
feeling unsafe in your own body
Research confirms that toxic relationship dynamics elevate stress hormones, weaken immunity, and damage long-term physical health.
I experienced this myself. My ex lowered my confidence so deeply that I began stuttering during conversations. My body was crying out for safety.
2. Stress Makes You Age Faster
Chronic emotional stress doesn’t just “make you feel older.” It physically accelerates cellular aging.
Scientific studies show that long-term stress affects:
telomere length (markers of aging)
cellular healing
DNA repair
nutrient absorption
energy and skin health
When your cells are constantly bathed in stress hormones, they mutate and struggle to function.
This is why women in abusive or chaotic relationships often experience:
dull skin
breakouts
hair thinning
exhaustion
poor digestion
When I was in an abusive relationship, I had constant breakouts, low energy, and my skin looked tired. My body was mirroring my emotional reality.
3. Higher Risk of Depression, Anxiety & PTSD
A trauma bond keeps you in a loop of hope, fear, disappointment, and craving. This cycle activates your survival brain repeatedly — and that takes a toll.
Women in trauma bonds experience significantly higher rates of:
depression
anxiety
panic attacks
insomnia
disordered eating
trauma symptoms
emotional numbness
My sleep collapsed during my abusive relationship. My nutrition became erratic. Eventually, I began having panic attacks. When you live in a nervous system that is always bracing for the next hurt, your mental health suffers deeply.
4. Your Career, Passion & Future Are Blocked
Toxic relationships steal your focus, creativity, and ambition. Instead of growing into your highest self, you become stuck in survival mode.
Here’s what often happens:
your motivation drops
you doubt your abilities
you lose interest in your passions
you miss career opportunities
you stay small to keep the relationship stable
When I was in an abusive relationship, I lost multiple opportunities to become a senior property accountant because all my energy went into surviving the relationship—not thriving in my career.
Your livelihood, dreams, and purpose deserve protection.
Final Thought
An army moves forward. Don’t live your life backwards.
Blocking him isn’t weakness.
It’s self-protection, self-respect, and self-leadership.
Are You in a Trauma Bond? You Don’t Have to Do This Alone.
I work with women across Canada who are healing from:
trauma bonds
narcissistic abuse
emotionally abusive relationships
childhood trauma
attachment wounds
toxic on-off situationships
If this blog resonates with you, I invite you to take the next step.
✨ Book a FREE 15-minute Intro Call
Let’s talk about where you are and how therapy can support your healing.
I am currently accepting new clients Canada-wide for weekly, 50-minute virtual counselling sessions.
You deserve safety.
You deserve stability.
You deserve a future.
And it starts with staying blocked.
